It doesn’t get any better than this: Little Bro opening Christmas present, 1981

Many years ago during the early part of my college years, I started working at a local business to earn some money for school. The job was a temporary gig, and it ended up being perfectly suited to that point in my life: relatively little stress, not a bad drive, and the women in my office were just as nice as could be.

I realized the full extent of their kindness one December day shortly before Christmas. I arrived at work to witness the beginnings of a Christmas party: decorations were being strung up, mountains of food were being set out, and each of my office mates festively walked through the office and set a small gift on all the desks in the room. Now, I am the sort of person who greatly enjoys throwing parties and giving gifts, but I will never forget the horror that washed over me as I saw the stack of beautiful gifts with hand-written cards on my desk ~

~ and realized I had nothing.

I had not been told about the holiday party. I had not been asked to bring anything, had not been told about the gift custom. I faced what was for me the ultimate social nightmare: everyone else had come prepared with food and gifts, and I had brought nothing. I stood there for a moment trembling while Christmas music tinkled on a portable radio and ladies waved hello, and then I did what any other kid might do. I called my mother.

I huddled in the phone booth downstairs and whispered my sad plight to Miss Pat, and like the sight of the gifts I also remember her calm, reassuring voice over the phone saying, “Honey, you do have something to give them. Give them your gratitude! How blessed you are to have such kind people around you! They must think highly of you to include you in their celebration, and they are so very generous to bring you in and not expect a single thing in return. Just walk back in that room and express to everyone how grateful you are for their generosity and kindness, and never feel bad to receive things given freely by others.”

And that’s what I did. Little by little my guilt melted away as these kind ladies excitedly showed their gifts and described the dishes they had prepared, and I began to realize how good they felt to be able to give. What began in horror and dismay ended in such a wonderful afternoon of sharing ~ once I let go of my feeling of obligation and allowed simple gratitude to take its place. Somehow, despite everything I believed up until then, the gratitude was enough.

I still fondly remember those kind women, and the lesson they and my mother taught me still lingers. It is sometimes easier ~ and more socially powerful ~ for many of us to give to others. Gracefully receiving is an oft-underused skill that perhaps needs to be reawakened now and then. The trick, I think, is to re-learn the beautiful openness of children, who receive without shame or obligation. By doing this we honor the giver, the circle of giving is completed, and we make room for more abundance in our own lives.

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We’ll be watching the Queen’s annual Christmas address ~ if you don’t catch it on cable, you can check http://www.youtube.com/theroyalchannel.